On this Easter Sunday and Passover week I am reminded that we get second chances. Sometimes we get a third. I thank G-d for this for I have made my share of mistakes. I have gone off the path, have taken a few too many detours, and have beaten myself (in my head) more than anyone else could or should have.
Criminal charges are daunting. When I practiced as a Chiropractor I treated many people who were in horrific accidents. They were twisted, and physically damaged. They saw and felt little hope that they would surmount their pains, and their suffering. Time heals all wounds is trite but true. People bounce back. They learn and they grow in spite of themselves.
I believe that Life offers these humbling moments to reflect, renew, review, and then resurrect ourselves. I have been brought to my knees by many things outside of my control. I am a control freak at heart. It is difficult to understand a wisdom greater than my current situation.
I truly believe that problems can be a gift of sorts. You may not want to hear this but there are truly no accidents. Challenges are part and parcel of a well lived life. The real question is what do we do with these? Do we shrink? Do we cower? Do we allow them to destroy us? Do we lose hope?
I say no to all of those options. I say embrace change. I say adapt to the future. I say make something and take something good from what otherwise seems horrible. Review, self reflect, and then make a comeback. Contact with the courts and the justice system is not always pleasant but it can be an experience of sorts.
1. Write out all the "good" things that came as result of your going through the process.
The support and love of true friends and family. Your awareness of your coping abilities. Your gratitude that things were not far worse. Your appreciation for your privileges and rights. Your privilege to drive. Your privilege to be free to make choices of your own accord. Keep writing until you see that there are just as many "positives" as "negatives" to this experience.
2. Do not beat yourself up. Grow from this friction. Surmount the challenge. Love yourself warts and all. Afterall no one is perfect. Trying to be perfect or always clean and neat is a losing battle.
3. Do not hide from it or try to bury it. I have found that the things I am most afraid of and really a self induced fiction. People will actually see you as a real person if you share real pains and real problems. Trying to maintain a position on a pedestal of sorts only sets you up for a great fall. People who sit in judgment are merely judging themselves. We all have our skeletons.
Healthy people embrace change, adapt to it, and grow from it. They are called leaders.
Lawrence (Larry) Newman, D.C., Esq.
Doctor of Chiropractic
Attorney and Counselor at Law
504 North Aurora Street
Ithaca, NY 14850