Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Ithaca Cortland Lawyer Why Would a Lawyer Lie to YOU?

Well first off, as they say it's NOT a lie if YOU believe it (we call that a pathological liar).

So why do some lawyers lie? 

People place their faith, their trust, and their money in lawyers daily yet they still have reservations and suspicions.

This is a topic near and dear. First my confession, I am a liar. Yes, to get through life I lie to myself, my kids, my wife, and my friends. Sometimes lying is necessary, it is healthy, and I would even say appropriate.

Do these jeans make me look fat? of course not.
Hey what do you think of dinner? oh, these Turkey Meatloaf Muffins, they're delicious,
Or I really appreciate you signing me up for those ballroom dance lessons... I can't wait to go
Or I don't have any favorite kids, you're all my favorites,,,

Lies to myself include, you look wonderful today, you're smart, you're sexy, nah you're not short, yeah you're funny, etc. It can go on and on, but the truth is life is finite and at times stressful. Sometimes The complete truth will get you into trouble.

Choices Made Daily

Do you want to spend your finite life completely in friction?
Do you want to spend it challenging all your friends and family?
Do you want to call out people every minute of the day?

Well some people do live that way, I don't believe it to be very healthy or normal. Normal people understand when it is appropriate to lie. I don't want my wife to always tell me the truth. The truth can be ugly, the truth can hurt, and the truth is not always freeing.

SO, WHY DO Lawyers Lie?

1. To get clients to sign up. "because some people want to be lied to" 

It is true that some people want to hear of the remote possibilities, not probabilities but long shot maybes. Yeah, it could happen but how "likely" is that? Just like all horses can win but the 40-1 shot?, well you may not want to stake your future on that. Some people also want $5,000 worth of legal services for $500. That is how we have these attorneys running court house to court house with a gizzilion client files but no (to little) time for any individual file.

It is said that the majority of people are conned or lied to because they are generally seeking a deal. A crazy return of interest on their money, a car far below cost, basically something for nothing.

Remember TV and media advertising are built on selling FANTASIES.

There is NO something for nothing! 

NOTE: The Primary Avoidance Clue. "Overextension"

If you see any professional man or woman overextended in their life financially be careful about hiring them. I have practiced as a doctor of chiropractic and a lawyer in four states. After being around these men and women for some 26 years I can tell you that those who owe are stressed and may not be able to be truthful. Needy is never a good thing. Needy men seeking women, needy women seeking men, needy people are desperate. Desperate people do desperate things. My wife asks, how can you tell they are overextended? If they are living far beyond their means? If they are leasing, renting, and/or borrowing a lifestyle. If as my uncle says, "are living a champagne life with a beer pocket."

2. To get clients to leave them alone. "the crazy but possible"

I get calls all the time. My lawyer is working on my case over a year. He is working on getting my case dismissed. He said, they lost the video. No video = No case, nooooo, not with a DWI refusal. Hey, DAs regularly have trials on DWI refusal cases without videos. It is the norm in Upstate. 99% NO video.

How likely is a complete dismissal in this refusal case? In the real world, a complete dismissal of the DWI refusal charges? A big, fat maybe, I'm a betting man but I would not take that bet. Not the rule.
But clients will leave you alone if you state you are working on a crazy (but possible) outcome.

3. The truth is uncomfortable. "avoid conflict, pain, and most of all reality"

The truth is hard to digest. I like to give best case, worst case scenarios. Yes, there are a great many unpredictable parts to any case or situation. After all we are dealing with people. We can't guarantee or promise outcomes. The truth to me is a range. Sometimes we fall into the better part of that range (with effort) or the worse part of that range (usually without effort). Yes, doing nothing usually yields nothing. Working towards a realistic goal is the sane way to approach any problem. To avoid conflict, to avoid CONFRONTATION with clients some lawyers may skirt the truth.

Confrontation is the Key to Success

I learned years ago that confrontation is the key to success. Dealing with rejection is the difference between the winners and losers in life.
You can have ALL the life you can confront. Telling people in no uncertain terms your value and worth, and risking their disapproval is key.
In it's purest terms, Truth = Confrontation.

Well you can read or see by my videos, blogs, or musings I am not afraid to tell you (or anyone else) the truth.

The Truth Can Set You Free. "the great liberator"

At 51 years old, after 26 years practicing as a professional in two fields, I feel fortunate and grateful. I stick my hand directly into the bees and wasps. I believe it can make a person stronger inside to be ok with themselves. There is most definitely a time and place for truth. It is childish fantasy to believe it is always best to be truthful (or honest). As I have said, I lie to stay sane (healthy). As I try to fight the effects of age, gravity, and time I am reminded of the futility of forces beyond me.

I tell the truth in practice because it is a stress reducer. Clients I believe deserve it. Truth can Allay fears, and help manage expectations. Truth utilized this way has worked in my marriage, has worked with my friends, has worked with my children, and has worked in my practices. I do not have to remember what I have said to dozens of people, my core principles, my philosophy does not vary person to person or place to place. It is rock solid.

So the truth at last, I love my life, and I love my practice, and I work hard to love the people around me. As I like to quip, everyone has something to love about them, even the seeming unlovable.

Reviews of Larry Newman:

Dr. Lawrence (Larry) Newman

Doctor of Chiropractic
Attorney and Counselor at Law

504 North Aurora Street
Ithaca, NY 14850